One resource that I love is the Marriage Minute. Marriage Minute gives you simple, research based tips for a positive and healthy marriage. It’s a completely free resource that comes to your inbox twice a week. The best part about it is that it’s short and to the point (takes no more than 60 seconds of your time to read) and very practical.
I mention this resource for a couple reasons. 1.) Because I want to share as many good things with you as I can. And 2.) Because last week a Marriage Minute came through my email that really inspired me. It inspired me on a personal level, as a wife, and on a professional level, as a therapist who wants to help make a real and positive difference in how people view marriage and do marriage (didn’t intend to rhyme there, but I’m happy about it).
I’d like to share that email with you today in hopes it will inspire you as it did me.
Is love a choice?
Some think that love is (or is not) meant to be. And when we are in the thrill of new love, it often feels like you’re going along for the ride, like it’s happening to you and not the other way around.
But what about making a choice to love someone?
Every time you turn toward your partner instead of away, that is a choice.
Every time you listen empathetically to understand your partner’s perspective—even if you disagree—that is a choice.
Every time you express a positive need to your partner, and listen and respond to their needs, that is a choice.
Being intentional, attentive, mindful, and appreciative in your relationship are choices.
In which ways do you choose to love your partner?
Choosing to love means choosing to be intentional, attentive, mindful, and appreciative every day, regardless of how you feel. I hope you choose to love, and I hope you never stop making that choice.
- Turn toward your partner instead of away – means to be attentive and respond to the little, everyday things your spouse does to get your attention.
- Understand your partner’s perspective – remember, this is not the same thing as agreeing. You do not have to agree with what someone is saying in order to show that you understand where they are coming from.
- Express a positive need – means to express what it is you want or need in a positive way, rather than complaining or criticizing.
If you are interested in receiving the Marriage Minute for yourself, you can sign up at any time by clicking here.